We recently got a kitten from someone that showed her on FB. She’s beautiful and we adore her. But , all the words triggered all the adoption crap. “Saving, Rescuing, Adopting ” all tasted like salt to my mouth.

I thought about the kitty’s mom. I thought she was going through trauma. I felt like a bad person because I took her.

Words have such power. And , adoption trauma affects every aspect of my life. I searched for other words to announce her to my friends. I think I settled with “got”. The rest seemed so wrong. They were the words and fairytale people believe about human adoption, or as I know it , human trafficking.

This meme made me think of all of my Sisters that feel they are the second choice. That they are supposed to live a life of gratitude for being ” saved “. This may seem strange to many but adoption does that to me. In Adoptionland we live a life of loss , myths, lies , abandonment and grief. I worried that sweet baby Bell would feel abandoned. I also thought how pets stay with their mothers for 6-8 weeks until they are separated. Humans get a day.

This is Tinkerbelle Rachel , and she’s precious. She’s been a joy while dealing with my mom in hospice. But , I feel like I did something wrong. She was abandoned or maybe her mama got hurt. I wondered if she was looking for her.

This my friends is inside the thoughts of a person with PTSD, Anxiety and Major Depression. Not pretty. But, completely honest. The woulda, coulda, shouldas never stop.

Recycle love ? What does that even mean? I’m working so hard on changing my thoughts but it is hard. I don’t know if I’m even capable of thinking differently because I know the truth about human adoption, selling babies.

I’ve ” rescued ” ( ick ) many pets and love them dearly. We should not go to breeding mills because that’s wrong.

The parallels are all there. Adopt from foster care if you must adopt. How do pets feel about their name being changed so many times ? Do they fear that they will be discarded again?

Friends, adoption changes you. It makes one see things so differently than others. Am I damaged? Absolutely. Just wanted you to have a glimpse in the mind of the residents of Adoptionland.